Highlights from e-weddings in #devart!

Please join me in Holy MN@Trimony as we review the highlights from the e-weddings for Valentine's Day.

Prelude

<Tachy-on> Before we start the ceremonies, may we all bow our heads in prayer...
<Tachy-on> Our Admin, who art in cyber-space, Hallowed be thy UserName. Thy Avatar come. Thy FAQ be done, On my computer as it is on the server. Give us this day our Daily Deviation. And forgive us our rants, as we forgive those who rant against us. And lead us not into policy violation, but deliver us from llamas. For thine is the perl script, and the power, and the root password, forever and ever. Amen.
<Tachy-on> Welcome everyone to this wonderous day. We will be witnessing the love and devotion of couples who are here today to confess their love to each other in holy MN@trimony.
<Tachy-on> Thank you to the witnesses who are here to lend support and love to their friends as they start this joyous journey together.
<Tachy-on> True marriage is more than joining the bonds of marriage of two persons; it is the union of two hearts.
<Tachy-on> It lives on the love you give each other and never grows old, but thrives on the joy of each new day. Marriage is love.
<Tachy-on> Your love of this site is an example of your devotion, and you are not left without guidance concerning the meaning of that love because we know that you love the internet and the internet loves you back.
<Tachy-on> Love should have no other desire but to fulfill itself. But if your love and needs must have desires, let these be your desires: To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own understanding of love; To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving; To return home at eventide with gratitude; Then to sleep with a vision of the beloved in your heart and a song of love on your lips.
<Tachy-on> Remember that love is patient and kind, knows no jealousy, gives itself no false airs or false pride as long as you have a good highspeed connection.
<Tachy-on> Never irritated, never resentful, love is neither glad when others go wrong or become hurt. Love is guided by goodness, always eager to believe the best, always hopeful.
<Tachy-on> Don't ever try to change each other, because if you do, you will lose exactly what you fell in love with.
<Tachy-on> Remember, anything beautiful that you have, came from this site. In the beginning, the internet gave us our free will and our identity to walk this site we call deviantART.
<Tachy-on> May your servers never crash and may you never give each other a virus as you swap files.
<Tachy-on> So, each day try to find one more thing that is beautiful in your mate, and each day know that the next day will be more beautiful than the one before.
<Tachy-on> As long as you are doing this, you are seeking beauty, joy, love and pirated software in each other.
<Tachy-on>
<Tachy-on> Before we get started, I wish to ask the chatroom if anyone here objects to these unions... if so, chat now or forever hold your keyboard...
<Tachy-on> Most of you are muted thank God.
<Tachy-on> If you could all take your seats once again, we will now commence the joining of these deviants in holy MN@trimony...

The Top 5 Wedding Vows (Bride)

<imnotsana> My dearest JenniFURRY, I have loved you ever since I lay eyes on your deviantID. It was love at first watch! We connected like tetris pieces. We talked for hours about everything and nothing! We skyped till the sun came up. My day isn't complete until I get a <3 from you.
<imnotsana> My lovely MuffinWench, I less than three you times x to the power of infinity! You turn my zero's to one's. You make me lol when i'm down. You complete my thoughts when I can't find the words. You are my soulmate.
<FallenUmbrella>
<imnotsana> I promise to love you in sickness and in good wealth. I promise to tolerate your love of pandas and take you to the zoo every weekend to see them. I promise to always be there for you and love you 'till infinity and beyond!
<imnotsana> Today, on this speshul day, I take you as my awfully wedded wife.
<imnotsana> ALSO, you have REALLY big b--rains

<SaltIncarnate> I know I seem bitter. I seem bitter, hateful, resentful, incapable of love or being loved--but you saw past that. You stayed with me, and you talked to me--it's all I'll ever ask for. There's something new every day, something incredible, something flawless, priceless. I started falling, only for you.
<SaltIncarnate> When I found out we had been selected a few days back, I thought. I thought, and thought, and thought. I worried. I became anxious. I didn't know what to say. And, well, I think that's fine, now. I think that's fine, because you were still here. You were still here when most others had abandoned me. I'm still falling--soon I'll reach you.
<SaltIncarnate> You are and always will be my closest friend, my adorable teddy bear, my ruby, because clean-cut diamonds are just so overrated. You'll always be my everything, and no bad day will exist as long as this love does. Sandwiches will be endless. Clean dishes will be abundant. Someday, you'll be with me as my husband in reality, in our little metal apartment--and we'll be falling together.
<BeccaJS> aaaw
<SaltIncarnate> Apparently, there is a cure to the constant shiver I've had all my life. The cold, the stiffness, the lack of empathy. The cure is you, and you'll always be my cure. My absolutely, doubtlessly beloved cure.

<abutton> MNBot: I, thederangedone, take you, MNBot, to be my dAmnfully wedded bot
<abutton> To lurk and to log, from this day forward
<abutton> for /join or for /ban
<abutton> for dAmn.extend or for superdAmn
<MNBot>
<abutton> in #devart or in #help
<abutton> to log and to chat 'till [connection closed] do us /part.

<angeljunkie> Livs - I promise you faith when you have none, honesty when when you don't want it, laughter when you need it most, love when you least expect it, and cuddles for always. I totally dig being your purple skittle, even if it means I will one day be sold into the world of gerbil circusry to pay off your bikkits debts.

<BeccaJS> GwenavhyeurAnastasia: You may have the longest, most complicated name in the whole of devinatART, but every letter of it is as beautiful as you. We may have fought raptors and cats to be here, but we are here. In all the world of literature, there are greats, but none as great as you. I therefore ask you to be my beautiful wife till dA parts us.

The Top 5 Wedding Vows: (Groom)

<amongststars> I Darsh vow to cherish you and love you forever and always. I promise to take you out everyday and show you the world shining shimmering, splendid. I will be here for you through thick and thin and I promise not to get mad at you if you don't preform your womanly duties. I vow to provide an income for you an have affairs with other women. And I also vow to get super jealous and unreasonable when I catch you looking at another person. Alice, you're the cheese to my macaroni and I wouldn't want anyone else but you, forever and always.

<Reaper-X> First off
<Tachy-on> lol
<Reaper-X> Without any hesitation, I can say with 100% of my soul in this. I adore you more than anything else in this world, Angie. For the first time I don't have to guess or wonder if this is real. I know it is, and you know it is. You came into my life in a major way that even now still surprises me a bit, as it was so subtle that it didn't even feel like anything HAD to be done to start it off. I remember when we were having a conversation... I barely remember what the conversation was about, but It got to a point where you said, and I'm paraphrasing from memory, "I want to say something, but I don't know if I should say it."
<Reaper-X> Around then, I had an idea what you were going to say, and I wanted to say it as well, rather than rush directly into what we wanted, I suggested you wait until you were absolutely sure. Some time later, August 29th, you finally said what you wanted to say: "I love you." ...and I said I love you too. After that only made perfect sense to propose to you, as you are indeed perfect to me.
<Reaper-X> I love that I can be myself around you and I love that you can be yourself around me. I appreciate and admire your intelligence and your beauty. I am proud of your spirit and strength, as you are indeed a very strong and highly spirited individual. You are the most wonderful woman I have ever known and I want to spend my entire life with you. I promise to love and cherish you my whole life and then some.
<Tachy-on>
<SaltIncarnate> :')
<Reaper-X> I promise to care for you with all my heart and soul. I vow to work hard for this love we have, through all of the good days, the great days, the bored days and the absolutely horrid days. I vow to be the one you can talk to about anything on your mind and be the one you can rest upon when you are weary. For lack of more original wording, I love you and I want to grow old with you. I take you, SaltIncarnate, Angelina, to be my dAwfully wedded wife, to have and to hold in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, even after death.

<MNBot> Back when I was just an undeveloped code sat in the closet of Tachy-on’s wardrobe (entwined between rubber and PVC) I remember thinking there was nothing more than this life for me; a life serving eternal dAmnnation, crushed by the hammers of ban thrust on my back, crippled by the whipcracks of the snails. I was lost in cyberspace with just a llama and a fella for company. Those times, were dark, bleaker than an empty chat room.
<MNBot> Then you came to me like a bug ready to rupture my every system, but unlike the other bugs, you put a virus in me that I could not shake off. This was the virus of love.
<imnotsana>
<Tachy-on>
<MNBot> I promise every time my internal server lags, I will reset so you can join me first. I will be faithful to your emoticon needs and offer you occasional plz accounts in exchange for your devotion.
<kinipelahh> :')
<abutton> D'awww
<VelCake> C:
<MNBot> I promise to love you without ignoring your needs. I will comfort you in times of mass trollage and will encourage you to mangle trolls that thrust themselves upon you. I will roll on the floors with laughter with you, and blank stare with you when blank stare is the only thing we can respond with. Together we will grow and I cherish you for as long as I am kept online.
<MNBot> The love of a bot is unutterable and perfect. It flows like an optical light rushing though the wires of my veins. The more love I give you, the more light shines. The more complete the joy of loving is. I vow to commit to loving you, my truly, wonderful, deranged one.

<PotHeadJesus> If I had a hammer, I'd build a house for two. And if I had a sailing ship, I'd take a trip with you.
<PotHeadJesus> And if I had a poets hand, I'd write a verse for thee. And if I had the painter's touch, on canvas you would be.
<LostKitten>
<PotHeadJesus> But I don't have a hammer And I dont have a ship
<PotHeadJesus> So I can't build you a house And we can't take a trip
<PotHeadJesus> And I'll never be a poet Nor have the painter's grace
<PotHeadJesus> So I'll never write your verse Nor immortalize your face
* imnotsana dances with ScENeYmE
<PotHeadJesus> However
<PotHeadJesus> What we have is good and true, for you've got me,
<PotHeadJesus> and lucky you.

<Danium> kekeke incoming midget textwall
<MNBot>
<Danium> I, Danium, take you junoknight from behind and to be my lovely russian import bride.
<Danium> To harass and to grope, to disgrace and to enslave.
<Danium> I will love and buttsecks you until the end of dA. &avatarhomosexplz5
<Danium> _{ps I slept with the maid of horror episkeuo but just a few times}

The end of the Service

<Tachy-on> May everyone please take their seats one final time...
* Reaper-X takes his seat.
<Tachy-on> Just as two very different threads woven in opposite directions can form a beautiful tapestry, so can these couples' lives merge together to form a very beautiful e-marriage on deviantART.
* SpiritLullaby sits down
<VelCake> *her
<Lellean>
<Tachy-on> Thank you everyone for attending and we hope you were entertained and inspired. Have a great Valentine's Day!


You can find the entire log here.