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The LOL Corner


This regular news article promises to make you giggle, chortle, and laugh your ass off.

Every edition will feature a collection of the funniest chat network quotes.

dAmnIt! is a database of funny quotes submitted by deviants like you.

dAmnIt! has reached over 18,000 quotes!!!

When something funny happens in a chatroom, share it with everyone! It only takes a few clicks, and while you're there browse through all the other hilarious quotes!

Feel free to note me with suggested dAmnIt! quotes to go into the next edition.

Last 10 Editions:
One Year Special Edition
Edition FiftyThree
Edition FiftyFour
Edition FiftyFive
Edition FiftySix
Edition FiftySeven
Edition FiftyEight
Edition FiftyNine
Edition Sixty
Edition SixtyOne


All Past Editions
Please see the right side of my journal for a complete listing of all past editions.


The Quotes


<Xerces> how big is this tattoo? :O
<chix0r> pretty much a full sleeve on my right arm
<Xerces> awesome :O
<martypunker> So about three inches?
* martypunker hides
*** You have left #MN * [killed: :|]



<WereKitty14v> In moments of confusion, please be sure to panic and then pee on the carpet.



<Ace0024> my mother wants me to turn off and unplug my computer so "incase electricity strikes our house, it won't destroy the computer" :roll:
<Roonifer> :rofl:
<Roonifer> Ace: She worries too much.
<kuhu> lol
<kuhu> hey now
<kuhu> my aunt, when I was little...
<kuhu> told me to put my pokemon cards away because the binder coils are metal and would attract stray lightning bolts
<kuhu> apparently the dog also conducts electricity, so we put him in the basement.
<Ace0024> :rofl:
<Roonifer> :lmao:



<jadefyres-freedom> I don't get tit
<jadefyres-freedom> it*
<jadefyres-freedom> o_o;



<DaPineapple> actually, one of my brother's ex taught me how to swordfight, so it's all good.
<Jeaneai> DaPineapple: ...Say what?
<Jeaneai> Please let that not be a really weird euphemism.
<Jeaneai> Please please please.



<KisayaMyst> She's licking my desk...
<KisayaMyst> WTF?!
<Adder24> KisayaMyst: I seem to have walked into an Awkward part of your conversation



* martypunker is always confused about her feelings.
<dxd> and your gender as well it seems.



* bunu scans her butt
<TheBoyishWonder>...
<TheBoyishWonder>Does it even fit on the scanner?
<TheBoyishWonder>Or are you doing it cheek by cheek
<TheBoyishWonder> :|



<xXOniHakumeiXx> does anyone live in the United states in here...? I dont care what state...
<Sting1> xXOniHakumeiXx: I'd say, 70% of the users currently here do.
<xXOniHakumeiXx> Sting1: Really.... How many do you think in Arizona?
<Sting1> xXOniHakumeiXx: Given that there are 50 states and assuming the distribution of computers and internet connectivity is equal everywhere, the number of people from Arizona are here (within the people from the US) is 2%
<Sting1> So apparently, the 2% of the 70% of people here is from Arizona.
<Sting1> xXOniHakumeiXx: Are you from Arizona?
<xXOniHakumeiXx> Sting1: Yuppers!
<Sting1> xXOniHakumeiXx: There are 60 people here now. The 70% is 42. Of these 42 people the 2% is 0,84 which is close to 1. 1 person from Arizona, you. <Sting1> xXOniHakumeiXx: So, my estimate was correct.
<xXOniHakumeiXx> Sting1: Are you like super smart or something?
<Sting1> xXOniHakumeiXx: No, I went to elementary school and learnt basic math.



<shuttermonkey> oh and rod stewart ... wow she's ugly
<shuttermonkey> :paranoid:



<Jeaneai> At some point today, I was so hungry that, when a friend of mine offered me these dog treats she'd made at home, to give to my dog, I nommed on that.
<Jeaneai> Surprisingly good.



<pillsburydoughgurl96> u guys have heard of youtube right



<chareD> ohmygod this cold applejuice feels good between my boobs :love:
<chareD> its in a cup don't worry



<martypunker> SEAMEN ARE THE BEST MEN



** do-not-talk-to-me has joined



<DaPineapple> for a moment I thought it was the beet ralint
<DaPineapple> beer talking*
<DaPineapple> which that was



<summaro> my mouth tastes like butt
Add a Comment:
 
:icondangopocky:
dangopocky Featured By Owner May 31, 2010
<summaro> my mouth tastes like butt

Ahaha oh god... what have you been DOING?? :XD:
Reply
:iconnagusame:
Nagusame Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2009
:lmao:
Reply
:iconpsychogizmo:
psychogizmo Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
<chareD> ohmygod this cold applejuice feels good between my boobs
<chareD> its in a cup don't worry


I lol'd so hard.
Reply
:iconordinary33:
oRdinaRy33 Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
<Ace0024> my mother wants me to turn off and unplug my computer so "incase electricity strikes our house, it won't destroy the computer"

uh, heh, that totally happened to me. Lightning struck our tree, went through the ground to the electrical box, to the outlets, up my computer charger, and BAM! went my computer.
Now, whenever there is lightning, I unplug my laptop.
Reply
:iconroonifer:
Roonifer Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2009  Student Filmographer
Wow! Really?

What are the odds? O_o
Reply
:iconordinary33:
oRdinaRy33 Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Very, very slim o.O My life is unfortunate like that. Haha. But yes- learn from me and unplug laptops/computers!! :o
Reply
:iconroonifer:
Roonifer Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2009  Student Filmographer
That would be a very very good lesson to pass on. D:
I'm actually glad I read this comment, because it really gets you thinking.
Reply
:iconordinary33:
oRdinaRy33 Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah, if only people would listen! It's a very bad thing to happen to you >.<
Reply
:iconroonifer:
Roonifer Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2009  Student Filmographer
I bet!
And I'm sorry that happened to you! :hug:
Reply
:iconordinary33:
oRdinaRy33 Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
:hug: thanks. I recovered almost everything. But it was no fun. So learn from my mistakes!
Reply
:iconroonifer:
Roonifer Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2009  Student Filmographer
That's good to hear. And I will. :)
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconlexybunny132:
lexybunny132 Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2009
wow this is like so fricken gAY
Reply
:iconlexybunny132:
lexybunny132 Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2009
im bored
Reply
:iconthe-dragoness:
The-Dragoness Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2009
This is awesome, I LOL'd more then a few times!
Reply
:iconjacobrsh8club:
jacobRsh8club Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2009
any one no jacob r?
Reply
:iconinaxrox:
inaxrox Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2009
hello, i am so lost here.!
Reply
:iconsilent-lulliby:
Silent-Lulliby Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2009  Student Writer
what are you confused about ?
Reply
:iconinaxrox:
inaxrox Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2009
im not confused about anything.
Reply
:iconmorgan-666:
Morgan-666 Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
:iconimhappyplz:
Reply
:iconinaxrox:
inaxrox Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2009
dotdotdot
Reply
:icontatooine92:
Tatooine92 Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2009  Student Writer
I LOVE YOU ALL.

(Just not in *that* way.)
Reply
:iconevilsyndicatemember:
evilsyndicatemember Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2009  Professional Artist
There are three quotes which question @martypunker's sexual orientation. :paranoid: I am now afraid. :fear:
Reply
:iconmajinkitty230:
MajinKitty230 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2009  Student Artist
:bounce:
Reply
:iconstrykercar:
StrykerCar Featured By Owner May 30, 2009  Student
lol cup holder boobs. well there is another use for them besides holding french frys then.
Reply
:iconinyoursocks:
inyoursocks Featured By Owner May 30, 2009
lmao
Reply
:iconstrykercar:
StrykerCar Featured By Owner May 30, 2009  Student
yeah its true. i would know.
Reply
:iconthesekrimzonflames:
TheseKrimzonFlames Featured By Owner May 29, 2009
*dies laughing*
Reply
:iconsomahiru:
somahiru Featured By Owner May 28, 2009  Student General Artist
when i read chareD quote, the scroll was in the limit in the first line and i was like WTF? then scrolled down a bit and laughed very hard :rofl:
Reply
:iconaseamlessbond:
Aseamlessbond Featured By Owner May 27, 2009
<Ace0024> my mother wants me to turn off and unplug my computer so "incase electricity strikes our house, it won't destroy the computer" :roll:
<Roonifer> :rofl:
<Roonifer> Ace: She worries too much.
<kuhu> lol
<kuhu> hey now
<kuhu> my aunt, when I was little...
<kuhu> told me to put my pokemon cards away because the binder coils are metal and would attract stray lightning bolts
<kuhu> apparently the dog also conducts electricity, so we put him in the basement.
<Ace0024> :rofl:
<Roonifer> :lmao:
Reply
:iconangelofgod87:
AngelofGod87 Featured By Owner May 25, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
... a pues bien...
Reply
:icontigeress-rawr:
tigeress-rawr Featured By Owner May 23, 2009
:D <;pillsburydoughgurl96> u guys have heard of youtube right
haha i love you!
Reply
:iconblakkreign:
BlakkReign Featured By Owner May 22, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
el-oh-el is good.
it feels good to el-oh-el.
Reply
:iconwramirezoide:
WRAMIREZOIDE Featured By Owner May 22, 2009   General Artist
BLACK JESUS SAYS VOTE FOR LAND OF THE LOST 2014
Reply
:iconsmokygouda:
smokygouda Featured By Owner May 22, 2009
Wouldn't it be 1.4%, which should technically be rounded down if we're doing all this rounding?
Reply
:iconblackskull18:
blackskull18 Featured By Owner May 22, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
Heh :D Genius
Reply
:iconjenepooh:
jenepooh Featured By Owner May 22, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
:rofl:
Reply
:iconlosttempest:
LostTempest Featured By Owner May 22, 2009
Go Sting1 :bucktooth:
Reply
:iconscribblin:
scribblin Featured By Owner May 22, 2009
i don't get tit either

:laughing:
Reply
:iconblackfire-dragon:
Blackfire-Dragon Featured By Owner May 21, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
i dont get tit:rofl:
Reply
:iconmspaintdog:
MSpaintdog Featured By Owner May 21, 2009  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Just remember, Rod Stewart is one SPECTACULARLY ugly chick.
Reply
:iconvermilion--vermouth:
vermilion--vermouth Featured By Owner May 21, 2009
Is it just me, or is the LOL Corner just not as funny anymore?
Reply
:iconkkthefox:
KKthefox Featured By Owner May 22, 2009
It didnt make me laugh... i want my money back :<
Reply
:iconvermilion--vermouth:
vermilion--vermouth Featured By Owner May 22, 2009
D8 We're PAYING for it now? Jesu Christum, we have to pay for everything these days! TT^TT
Reply
:iconscribblin:
scribblin Featured By Owner May 22, 2009
i think people are just trying too hard alot of the time ;p
Reply
:iconvermilion--vermouth:
vermilion--vermouth Featured By Owner May 22, 2009
It's just the same people, over and over again. It's getting kinda old. :\
Reply
:iconadavesseth:
adavesseth Featured By Owner May 23, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Well then, go on chat, find/create/force/make up something funny and suggest it :bucktooth:

I do agree that this week wasn't all that amusing though. Last week had a lot of fun, if I remember correctly!
Reply
:iconvermilion--vermouth:
vermilion--vermouth Featured By Owner May 23, 2009
Yeah, last week's was pretty good.

And I'm working on finding something.
Reply
:iconadavesseth:
adavesseth Featured By Owner May 23, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Goodie, goodie! :D
Reply
:iconscribblin:
scribblin Featured By Owner May 22, 2009
hmmm :\
Reply
:iconoriginalsophie:
originalsophie Featured By Owner May 22, 2009  Student Writer
Yeah. Same jokes, too, a little.
Reply
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May 20, 2009
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